As we approached the one year anniversary (Dec 16) of my daddy's heavenly trip home, I naturally, have been thinking A LOT of his last days on earth. It is no wonder then, that my Heavenly Father sent a messenger to me. It made me smile. In fact, 2 times in 2 days. Cardinals are hold such meaning to me now. The Lord has used them in incredible ways this past summer to speak to my heart! I would love for you to go read my Messenger From Heaven post from this summer and see why. It still gives me chills and tears. Go read it and hug your daddy close today! When I look around me, it is so so clearly evident that God is love. That He is sovereign. That He is faithful. And that He is on ALL the details..... In 2015, dad was fighting the beast called cancer and we had family photos taken. Our photographer edited and shared our beautiful images December 16, including this real life moment Papa was reading to the grandkids while we had our couples photos taken. We motioned Destiny in - and here it is - the absolute favorite photo of the entire session. A moment frozen in time. Fast forward 2 years, and the day she shared this precious image, becomes the VERY day my vivacious, full of joy & laughter, larger than life daddy, took his final breath on this earth. Does stuff like that blow your mind a little bit too? December 16, 2017 at 4:57 am he saw his Jesus, the momma he so badly missed growing up, and all of Heaven celebrated his arrival. After church on the 16th, we went to go to Papa's final resting place. We know he isn't there, but there is still something that feels honoring to do so. We took a wind chime along with us and found the COOLEST thing at the store! A red bird to represent the cardinal messenger in our lives......... How can a heart be so happy that the suffering and pain is gone, yet so completely devastated that someone they've loved so big and so deeply has gone too? It's confusing. It's messy. It's like a light has gone out on the bright, shiny, happy world. But time marches on, and healing comes. Bit by bit. Tear by healing tear. One foot in front of the other. One whispered prayer, one cardinal visit at a time, the smiles come more than the tears and the memories can be talked about, without taking your breath away. Most of the time. As we prepare for a second Christmas without dad, it actually feels like a first. This is the reality part of loss. No hype of a funeral to plan for. No scurrying of flights coming in, of out of town family to hug. Just a missing family member who isn't coming back. Reality check. Today, I am thankful for Kleenex, Jesus, family & friends and, well, Facebook Time Hop & cardinals, for it all points me to the Heavenly Father's love and care of His children. He is in it all.
Every. Single. Detail. Hugs, T
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Tonya Ferguson
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